Category: Joke Board
The Top 16 Worst Excuses for Being Late for Work
16> "Actually, I've been here for over 20 minutes, big guy --
I was just out chillin' in the van waiting for the end
of the live version of 'Freebird'."
15> "I keep forgetting which side of the International Date
Line you're on."
14> "We're *open* on Tuesdays?!?"
13> "It took this long to get the ol' blood alcohol level down
to the legal driving limit."
12> "I had to take extra time this morning to wrestle with
overwhelming aggressive impulses by reassuring myself
that nothing would happen today that would push me over
the edge."
11> "My proctologist got stuck."
10> "It was Senator Kennedy's turn to drive today, so I've
spent the last hour swimming."
9> "I'm late because I was on the phone trying to get *your*
lousy shipping department to send the company's office
supplies directly to the winner of my eBay auction."
8> "Hey, time becomes meaningless when you're as strung out
on crystal meth as I am."
7> "Sorry, sir. I overslept and dreamt I had a dead-end job,
a windowless office and a humorless baboon for a boss."
6> "Heidi Klum refused to untie me."
5> "On the second Tuesday of the month, the Campho-Phenique man
comes by to fill the drum for my home supply of industrial-
strength anti-canker sore gel."
4> "I'm sorry, boss, but I had to stop to get you -- uh -- this
box of ten donuts."
3> "It took me a little longer than normal to hide my disdain
this morning... Sir."
2> "My dog ate my presentation, sir. And by 'my dog' I mean your
wife, and by 'ate my presentation' I mean 'was boinking me'."
and the Number 1 Worst Excuse for Being Late for Work...
1> "These are not the 'droids you're looking for."
Lol, wish I'd had these when I was working.
My favorite is: 7> "Sorry, sir. I overslept and dreamt I had a dead-end job,
a windowless office and a humorless baboon for a boss."
Bob
Becky Becky! Funny as usual.
heh heh